Comedy: Think about This...

• The ultimate oxymoron: "a civil war"!
• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• If  someone  with  multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?  
• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
• If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?